TikToker Proves That Everyone Is Actually Named John

Count how many Johns there are on your existence. Now double that quantity. Now triple that quantity. Everyone is actually named John. Let's get into it.

According to the Behind the Name website, the name John held the No. 1 spot within the United States from 1880 up until 1923. It in brief fell to No. 2, then held sturdy in third position from 1930 until 1952. Since then, John has declined considerably as new and thrilling names take its place.

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In 2022 John used to be ranked No. 26 in most popular names, but that might now not technically be accurate. A TikTok consumer named Ambatukhan (@nspektor6000) released a video about the name John that vaguely feels like the Charlie Day conspiracy meme from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. In it, he explains how everyone is actually named John. It's time to leave the Matrix and get into some actual truths.

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Everyone is actually named John. Look below your chairs, you get a John!

Every day you meet any individual named John and you probably did not realize it. Ambatukhan did, which is why he assembled this very intense TikTok concerning the phenomenon that is the title John. He goes thru several diversifications of the title, from multiple countries. It's giving John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. Sorry I were given that tune caught for your head.

As with all unbelievable stories, this one starts with the Bible. I'm calling it Johnasis. "It all starts with Yôḥānān, who we know as John," explains Ambatukhan. I'm letting this information wash over me like a baptism.

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From there we commute to Ancient Greece the place Yôḥānān turns into Ioannis which translates to "God is gracious." In this actual instance, God must be more unique with those names. Right subsequent door to Ancient Greece is Classical Latin where we discover Iohannes. Not a lot of an improve however that will quickly exchange.

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Popping over to Germany we discover that Johannes Bach is simply John Bach. It doesn't somewhat have the similar ring to it. Imagine saying, "My favorite piece of classical music is Toccata and Fugue in D minor, by John Bach." Good ol' Johnny Bach. Johannes seamlessly shifts into Hans and now I'm not able to prevent saying, "John Christian Andersen would love the live action remake of The Little Mermaid."

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France is the first to deliver the title nearer to the John we know these days with Jehan adopted through Jean, but the English are the first to birth John. At this point my query is, why are these names described as variations of John instead of variations of Yôḥānān, which got here first. Oh no, is this the English language centering itself once more?

Next up, English offers us slightly diddy about Jack and Jane (now not Diane). I in point of fact feel like we're taking a lot of liberties right here. I do know the band Semisonic as soon as sang in their hit tune "Closing Time" that "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end," but I feel like Jane burst onto the scene from nowhere. I reject the notion that Jane is Jack, and Jack is John. Apologies to John F. Kennedy, who was once often known as Jack!

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OK I love the Irish because they've had a rough move of it however they always care for a searing sense of humor within the face of masses of years of trauma, but am I to imagine Sean is John? This also approach that Puffy Daddy's way of life company Sean John is actually John John. Also, John-John was a nickname of John F. Kennedy, Jr. Is this a conspiracy? Please do not let QAnon get ahold of this.

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The Scots took Sean/John and grew to become it into Ian, Iain, and Ewan which does not surprise me as a result of additionally they gave us the Loch Ness Monster. When Spain entered the chat with Juan, they could have by no means predicted that at some point, millions of high school Spanish students would snatch onto that identify for expensive life. Donde esta l. a. biblioteca?

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Ambatukhan subsidized it up to Ancient Greece again and traced a line over to Russia the place Yôḥānān changed into Ivan. Ivan the Terrible abruptly doesn't sound so horrible. That's John the Terrible. What's he horrible at, board games? Obviously Ancient Greek needed to develop into modern-day Greece which is where we get names like Giannis and Yannis. God is nonetheless being gracious.

"There are hundreds of other variations across the world which I can't write down," says an exhausted Ambatukhan. Finally at the end, he throws a bone to the ladies and quickly fires off some lady examples. Apart from Jane, they didn't even make it to the board. That's now not very gracious!

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